In India, marriage is not just a bond between the couple but the entire families. Especially in the context of women, they are supposed to build a strong bond with in-laws even if it calls for going an extra mile to please them; though men are still relieved from such expectations. Not to mention, a good bond or a not-so-good bond with in-laws can have a direct impact on your relationship as a couple and on your marriage too.
Since in most of the families mother-in-law would have played the key role binding the family together, influencing the family decisions, handling the chores and doing what all it takes to create a family, hence it becomes all the more important to build a good rapport with her to establish your own position in the new family. In most probability, she can be and will be the one who will help you adjust and settle in the family after marriage.
Here are a few tips to befriend your mother-in-law.
1) Understand her expectations
The way you have certain expectations from your new family and in-laws, they too have certain expectations from you. They are the ones who were instrumental in making your marriage materialize and they will be more than happy to be with you in all odds and evens, provided you respect their expectations. Though the efforts have to be from both ends to make the things work yet no harm in initiating the first step.
2) Respect and admire her
Do respect her for the simple reason that she is your husband’s mother, and now yours too. She has been taking care of your husband since the time he was born till the date you got married to him and that deserves an admiration. Do acknowledge her efforts throughout these years. Once you start showing respect and appreciating her for what all she has done, she is sure to develop a soft corner for you too.
3) Offer Support Carefully
Believe it or not, there are few MILs who want their DILs to be fully involved in household chores from the day one whereas on the contrary there are few who are a bit possessive about their home and kinds of stuff they do and might not release responsibilities so quickly. It is better to understand their psyche and act accordingly. Too much of eagerness to offer support to a MIL possessive about her things might push her apart. Be careful about how you go about it.
4) Confide in with mother-in-law
Your mother-in-law has been an integral part of the family that you have just entered. Don’t make her feel that you are there to take her place. Assure her that you are there to compliment her in all possible manner and make “her” family complete. Don’t let your actions signal otherwise. Don’t let insecurity creep in.
5) Respect and care for your father-in-law
The relationship between a father-in-law and a daughter-in-law is often a neglected one. Though this can be a sweet father-daughter relationship provided you take a lead. Respecting and taking care of your father-in-law will not only help you establish good terms with him but will also help you establish firm grounds in your new family. As it is an indirect way of touching your mother-in-law’s heart. She will be delighted to see someone taking care of the person she loved the most her entire life.