Tag Archives: matrimony site

Are Matrimonial Sites are useful than Traditional Ads?

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Traditionally, Indian matrimony always has been arranged because we Indians believe that it is not only the Indian bride and the Indian groom, who are united for life but their families are too. Families and friends scouted for prospective Indian brides and Indian grooms within their social circle and acquaintances. Criteria such as caste, community, education, financial stability, values, culture, compatibility, etc. are kept in mind during this scouting process to ensure the most eligible compatibility between the bride and the groom and their respective families. The scouting process ensured that each family gets as much first-hand information as possible about the other family before committing. Matrimonial advertisements in newspapers and matrimony bureaus were also followed to seek prospective matches, per criteria.

With the wider spread of the internet, there seems to be a surge in matrimonial sites. The use of these sites is particularly popular with the urban youth. As internet and education spread through small towns, the use of matrimonial sites increases in such places as well. The increasing popularity of matrimonial sites can be attributed to the below factors:

Technology Friendly – In current times where people are becoming more tech-savvy, Matrimonial sites offer plenty of prospective matches to choose from at a touch of a button. The sites offer smart filters to narrow search according to everyone’s criteria – religion, age, caste, language, education, etc.

Maintain the Tradition – Most of the profiles come with photos, traditional specifications. So, not only the prospective Indian bride and the Indian groom know what they are looking at, even the families and friends are happy, knowing that the search is being conducted via traditional criteria;

Wider Catchment – Matrimonial sites not only cater to the urban youth but a wide range of population in semi-urban, rural and overseas areas as well;

More Extensive Options – These sites provide the options for all kinds of varied requirements;

Initial Conversation – Matrimonial sites also offer an online chat room, where the prospective groom and bride can initiate a conversation and find out more about each other, arrange for a meet.

Success Stories – Many of these sites post the stories of those Indian brides and Indian grooms that they have successfully paired and wedded. It provides confidence to those, who are seeking prospective matches, as to the efficacy of the matrimonial sites.

When one compares the above advantages to the traditional method of newspaper advertisements, matrimonial sites are more useful.

Newspaper ads have the following disadvantages:

1) These do not provide as broad options as sites do;
2) Are painstaking and time-consuming when it comes to narrowing a prospective match, arranging the initial chat between the potential matches and their families;
3) Do not come with the options of ‘alerts’ as matrimonial sites do (when a prospective match comes up);
4) One is required to visit the newspaper office to update the ad personally;
5) These do not offer a glimpse of the photos of the prospective brides/grooms.

Be each other’s better half: Share not only Love but Life!

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Relationships thrive on constant nurturing and caring. A person is surrounded by a web of relationships that form the core of his/her social existence. Maintaining any sort of relationship requires communication, empathy, conflict resolution and the list goes on. The most important skill that makes relationship strong, intimate and healthy is sharing.

Relationships require sharing our lives with another person. This may include a lot of dimensions like emotional sharing, intellectual sharing, common values, sharing of beliefs or ideas. The dimension is decided by the level of intimacy a relationship holds. It may be different for people in a marriage. In a marriage, it is fundamental to share your feelings and thoughts. Here is what else you can share in a relationship:

Share Secrets

Sharing secrets is the virtue of best relationships. Two people in a relationship need to be open and honest regarding almost everything. This ensures a sense of security and safety. These secrets can be about your dreams and desires, your highs and lows, expectations and disappointments. Sometimes being vulnerable ensures that the relationship stays intimate and thereby strengthens the bond. One needs to ensure that the secrets shared are honored and never compromised.

Share Hobbies and interests

Relationships require time to bud and blossom. Today, time holds value. Some people are busy with work and careers and relationship takes a backseat. This can be totally avoided. Take out some time dining out or exercising together if you are in a more intimate relationship. Always try to be open to new ideas and try to look out for common interests if any. Pursue them together. This will ensure you get to spend quality time together doing what you both like.

Share your Support

People tend to be emotionally and physically exhausted. The daily chores or too much stress can bring out total negativity from a person. One can simply extend his/her support and make the other feel a little less exhausted. Sharing is lessening the burden.

Share Chores

If you are in a relationship, where you can help your partner with daily chores, it can create a sense of equality. Helping with routine work like cleaning and cooking can ensure a balance and it definitely takes off some load. As they say “two is better than one”- this mantra can go a long way.

How does sharing help?

Sharing can ensure emotional and mental stability in most of the cases. It does good to people who entrust each other with things. Sharing will help you and your partner grow as a team as it develops the sense of togetherness. A person will feel more responsible for the acts done in a relationship.

Sharing chores ensure that both the partners feel equal and it definitely takes some load off. The skill of sharing will make your relationship grow as a team and this will eventually increase the level of intimacy. It eventually builds trust and helps the relationships to flourish.

In matrimony, know that you are not two individuals living your separate lives. You and your spouse are one bounded by the love and care you share with each other.

How to Plan the Best Bachelor or Bachelorette Party

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A novel idea and a little planning are all that you need to make your best friends’ bachelor or bachelorette party memorable. Gone are the days when the Indian brides and Indian grooms were confined to the house before tying the knot in holy matrimony. Today bachelor and bachelorette parties are the in-thing, and as your BFF gets ready to take the plunge, it is your duty to make sure that you give them something unusual to look back on.

Your best pal needs to unwind and relax before the big day, and the purpose of this party is just that. Let your friend celebrate their single status by making it the most memorable night of their life. To host a fun-filled pre-matrimony event, first thing to do is make a list of to-do things.

1. Mark a day for the party- Talk to the family to see if they are okay with the date that you are planning to have a party. Don’t plan it too close to the wedding day, the bride or the groom always wants to look the best and well rested on their wedding day and not with tired and worn-out looks. There are also a lot of last-minute function which will take up most of their time.

2. Prepare a guest list- The guest list needs to be well thought out. The would-be bride or groom will want their siblings, cousins, friends, and colleagues to be included in the list. Make sure to ask the bride or the groom if there is someone in particular whom they want to be included in the guest-list.

3. Plan your Budget- The friends throw the bachelor and the bachelorette party, and no cost should be passed onto the bride or the groom. Do a cost estimation for decorations, food, drinks, venue, transportations, etc. Friends pitching in with the cost should pay in advance, so there is no confusion later. Keep those bills, for referencing later.

4. Send out Personalized invitations- Your invitations will depend on the level of formality of the party. If it is a casual party, then you can even do away with the invitations and invite over the phone. But if it is a formal party make sure that your invitations are sent well in advance. You also have a choice of emailing the invitations and then sending text as a gentle remainder just a day or two before the party.

5. Pick a theme- To make the party even more interesting, pick a favorites theme from a movie or a series that will bring fond memories to the bride or groom. It could also be something form school or college days. You can also plan a costume party to make it even more interesting.

6. Pick a venue- You can plan a weekend getaway or a restaurant, but make sure that you decide on the venue depending on your friend’s taste and interest. If your friend is more of an outdoor kind of person, you can plan a pool party or a party at a resort.

Though matrimonial sites are playing an important role in bringing couples together, it’s the best friends who make it the most memorable for the Indian Bride and Groom.

How to Resolve Fights in a Marriage

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Very few couples may admit to have conflicts but having conflicts in marriage is normal. People who commit to spending life together may have different opinions about different things. No matter how much a couple is in love, they cannot see eye to eye on everything.

When two individuals come together with a commitment to spend life together, somewhere down the line, many small things tend to cause friction. Two people can have a different attitude and personalities. Add in some oddities, pour in some expectations, sprinkle some day to day errands, and it can go all kinds of crazy.

Conflicts are not totally unhealthy, but how well they are being resolved can determine the health of your marriage. Fights, big or small, can be avoided or concluded in a very healthy way. Sometimes conflicts tend to get unavoidable, but what comes handy is your approach towards conflict solving.

Communication is key

First thing first; every matrimony has an ultimate need – Communication.

As long as you are communicating, you always have a better chance to avoid a conflict. It is highly important that we get past our selfishness and arguments and pave the way for some productive dialogue. Take out some time in your daily routine, where you can just talk and listen.

Listen to what your partner is going through and do not shy away from expressing what you feel. It makes your partner feel that they are heard and understood. Most important part of communication is analyzing your partners need. Determine the right time to talk about your hidden needs.

Give your partner and equal chance to talk about things and never jump to conclusions. If something is not right, stop smoldering and stop expecting that your partner will just guess your problems. Communicate!

Take a Time-Out 

Conflicts tend to raise your emotional quotient, and in the heat of the moment, most of the couples start the trash-Talk. Soothe yourself and just breathe! When emotions are heightened, distance yourself from any sort of emotional or mental abuse.

You can keep calm and resume the discussion after you regain your peace of mind. Always remember; “The goal should be to have a conversation in such a way that you can see eye to eye and have another conversation tomorrow.

Empathize & Accept

Understand that your partner may have different needs. In case of a conflict, accept the blame if you have wronged the other. Accepting your fault and saying sorry will make your marriage rock solid. Take responsibly for your actions. If your partner apologized for something, do not keep mentioning the same thing over and over again. Never give cold-shoulder to your partner. This increases marital stress, and things may not be the same after a while even if you try.

Create a Win-Win & Resolve

Partners should make genuine efforts to take care of each other’s needs. Once a conflict arises to try to come to a solution which helps both. Take each other into consideration and remember that you love the other person.

You must understand that matrimony  involves the union of two individuals who were in different spheres of lives. When these spheres collide, the result is inevitable friction. So be patient, loving and understanding, and the thing that you are finally left with is a beautiful loving married life!

The Importance of the Father-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law Relationship

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One will find reams and reams of writing on the complexity of a Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law relationship, but one hardly finds much advice, even on matrimonial websites, on how an Indian Bride can forge a healthy relationship with the father of the Indian Groom, i.e, the Father-in-Law and the importance of such ties.

In our patriarchal society, even though men are heads of the families and take all the major decisions, the truth is, it is the women who control the behind-the-scene actions. Be it managing the inter-connected , complicated relationships between various family members, the business of the running of the house, looking after the family members etc. The men, especially the father take a backseat.

An Indian girl grows up in the loving and pampering care of her family, especially her father. To a girl, her father is the best man ever. Upon matrimony, when she leaves the cocooned comfort of her father’s home and steps in the matrimonial home, the Indian bride is expected to deep dive and be a part of her new family from the word go. It is unfair. Even though there are more nuclear families these days, such expectations are still prevalent.

This is where the father-in-law can play an important role. He can pseudo step in the shoes of the bride’s father and take his daughter-in-law under his wing. It is essential for a newly wedded Indian bride to understand this. She is not expected to look up to the Indian groom’s father as her father because emotionally that is not possible, but she can look up to her father-in-law as a friend and a guide.

Look at this way, the father-in-law, though he takes a backseat in the day to day functioning of the house, knows everyone in the family well enough. The father-in-law can initiate his new daughter-in-law to understand every person in her new family, what works with what and whom. He can even stand up for her or mediate in case of misunderstandings or problems; something a mother-in-law or husband usually does not do. By creating a relationship of mutual trust and understanding with her father-in-law, the new Indian bride can slowly make inroads and her place in her matrimonial home.

An Indian bride should, therefore, make efforts (even before the matrimony) to find out more about her father-in-law: his routine, his favorite foods, his interests and tastes, his childhood and youth memories, his friends and even his problems. Such efforts will allow the daughter-in-law to create a warm and healthy friendship with her husband’s father; almost like a father and daughter relationship.

Remember, even though it is the women who rule the house, the father-in-law is the head of the family. When it comes to crises or serious family tension, he is expected to stand up and take a call/decision. It is essential for an Indian bride to be in a favorable relationship with her father-in-law because more often than not, he will stand up to her and support her.