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Things You Should Keep in Mind When Attending a Bengali Wedding!

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Bengali Wedding

Traditional Indian Weddings are not just gorgeous, lavish and full of fun, but also culturally rich and diverse. Every distinct Indian community wedding is a sight to behold and an experience to drown oneself in. And so is the Bengali wedding!

Traditional Bengali weddings are unique in their customs, flavors, attires, food, and rituals – very different from almost all the other parts of India.

There are numerous unique nuances that one must not miss experiencing in a Bengali wedding in order to fully enjoy this authentic experience. Each set of ceremonies are important to watch out for, beginning with Aaiburo Bhaat, (the last meal as a bachelor/spinster), Gaye Holud (Haldi ceremony) and the actual wedding ritual, thereafter the Bashor Ghor.

So, here are a few things to keep in mind and to look out for and experience, when attending a Bengali marriage!

The Bachelorette Feast (Aiburo Bhaat)     

A day before the wedding, a grand feast is offered for the bride-to-be and the groom-to-be in their respective homes by their respective families.  This meal marks the last day of their lives as an unmarried man and woman. This is a fun feast with friends and family joining in the celebration of the couple’s end of singlehood and moving into Bengali Matrimony.

The Unique Wedding Attire

Bengali wedding attire is very different from most of the other Indian wedding attires, both in the case of the bride and the groom. Through centuries, the traditional Bengali bride wears a typical red (or any other auspicious color) authentic Banarasi sari and a Red Cheli (Veil) for her wedding day. She is also adorned in a unique, triangular and intricately carved headgear called Mukut made of Shola (a milky white sponge). Likewise, the groom’s headgear is called Topor, which is conical and equally intricately designed, which is gifted to him by the bride’s side. He wears it during the wedding ceremonies along with his traditional Bengali Dhoti and Kurta. A traditional Bengali bride and groom are a gorgeous sight to behold!

For good luck, besides the Mukut and the Topor as headgears, the couple must also carry two distinct items in their hand during the wedding ceremonies. The groom is given the Jaanti, a traditional betel nut cracker to hold, while the bride is given the gach kouto (a red, tall container) to keep in her hand all the while as they take their marriage vows. These items are traditionally considered to be auspicious and helpful to ward off bad luck. These are the two unique items to look out for in an authentic Bengali wedding.

The Thrilling Shubhodrishti Lift Up in The Air

One of the most famous Bengali wedding rituals is the Saat Paak or the seven circumventing which the bride is made to take around the groom just before Shubhodrishti (meeting of the couple’s eyes). In this famous ritual, often depicted in movies that show a Bengali wedding, the brothers/cousin brothers carry the bride while she is made to seat on a Piri (wooden plank). This wooden plank is lifted up in the air from all sides by her brothers, and the bride is carried around the groom seven times. Then, the couple is brought face to face, and they finally look at each other for the first time during the day, known as Shubhodrishti (auspicious glance). Then, the couple exchange glances and thereafter, floral garlands too.

In this ceremony, another unique custom to look out for is the nuance of the bride covering her face with two green betel leaves all throughout the Saat Paak. She lowers the leaves from her face only after the completion of the seven rounds and at the moment of Shubhodrishti.

The much-dreaded (by most nervous brides) yet most fun game during this ritual is the brothers deliberately lifting the wooden plank much higher than the groom so that he cannot put the garland around her. Likewise, the groom’s friends also lift him up to help him succeed in garlanding and winning his bride. This traditional fun competition between the bride’s side and the groom’s side is also fuelled on by family elders adding in funny and friendly banters from aside. This is one unique fun ritual that you should not miss.

The Beautiful Fire Ritual

Bengali weddings have Kanyadaan (giving away the daughter by the father/uncle), then the Yagna fire is lit, and the entire wedding takes place around the fire as the sacred witness. The bride and groom offer puffed rice offerings to the fire. The smearing of vermilion and Saptapadi takes place around the fire. Saptapadi is the seven steps where the bride pushes the traditional stone pestle with her toe with the groom behind, symbolizing the strength and dedication to keep moving the conjugal and domestic duties ahead no matter how challenging it gets. Also, the couple takes seven rounds around the sacred fire while making seven sacred marital vows. It is a spectacle to behold in a Bengali wedding! These main rites of the evening are exquisitely beautiful to watch and must not be missed.

Unlimited Fun and Frolic

Now you can guess how much the Bengali weddings, like all else, team up with frolic and fun. A large gathering of extended family and friends take part in the wedding procedure that lasts several days. Besides the garland competition, the other extreme fun event is Bashor Ghor. This is the gathering that takes place right after the actual wedding ritual is complete. The night of the wedding, the newlywed couple is not left alone, but heavily flanked by friends and family who sing, recite, play fun games and make merry along with the couple. This is a fun event that one just cannot miss while attending a Bengali wedding, which is filled with laughter, noise, and fun.

Authentic Bengali Food

If you’re attending a traditional Bengali wedding, be sure it will include an elaborate feast including non-vegetarian delicacies. Bengali wedding rituals take place usually at night, and hence, the wedding feast is a hefty and sumptuous dinner. The menu includes rice preparations like Pulav or ghee bhaat (rice cooked in ghee), various vegetarian dishes, but also without fail, a number of non-vegetarian dishes made of fish and meat. If you’re attending a Bengali wedding, gorging on the wedding feast goes without saying! After the dinner, there is a wide range of desserts such as the famous Mishti doi (sweetened curd), rasgoollas, and other sweet meats. At the end, traditional Bengali paan (betel leaf) is offered to every guest.

Altogether, a Bengali wedding is a fun-filled, once-in-a-lifetime experience of unique nuances to look out for. Now that you know what all to keep in mind while attending such an event; go ahead and enjoy to the hilt in any Bengali wedding!

Top 5 Things You need to Consider while Planning An NRI Wedding

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Are you an NRI with a wedding awaited very soon? Are you wondering how to make it one of the most authentic Indian wedding that you and your guests would remember forever? The best way to do it is to make it a good blend of tradition and modern to make people across all the generations happy. Afterall, dating an Indian man means seeing a glimpse of the Indian culture at the wedding too. Indian singles in USA or Indian singles in Canada must exhibit their Indian tradition and culture when they have an NRI wedding.

Here are the top five things can make your wedding an outstanding as an NRI:

1. Choose a classy place
When it is your big day, you want everything to be perfect. To begin with, you must choose a classy place that can adapt to all kinds of functions and ceremonies that you plan for your wedding. If you are planning a wedding in your vicinity, you can choose a place that is just the right size for the number of guests you plan to invite. It should not be too small neither should it be too big. Moreover, if you are planning all the functions including Haldi, Sangeet, Wedding and the reception at the same place, you must ensure that the decor can be adapted easily and should blend well with all the functions.

2. Decide on the number of functions
When you are dating an Indian man, you would know that the region he comes from would decide the number of functions and the style of the wedding he would like. Therefore, if the bride and the groom come from different regions, you must decide on the number of common functions you would like to have and then prepare accordingly. It is important to have a common ground before you start planning the decorations and dates for the functions.

3. Make your functions inclusive
Indian singles in India or Indian singles in Canada would have friends/relatives/guests both from India and abroad. Therefore, it is always good to have some ceremonies that are inclusive of all your guests. Something like a Sangeet ceremony is great for this purpose. Everyone loves to sing and dance especially when it is an Indian wedding. People love to groove on Bollywood music. With such ceremonies and some open dance floors, you can make your ceremonies more inclusive that everyone would enjoy!

With such ceremonies, you can make your wedding a successful and fun event for your friends, family and yourself as well. If you are wondering where to find the right life partner for yourself as Indian singles in India or Indian singles in Canada, you can look for some serious relationship sites and find the love of your life with whom you can plan your perfect NRI wedding. NRI matrimony sites are also perfect for people who are Non-resident Indians and are looking for other Indian singles to marry. Hence, you can choose your dream partner and plan an amazing NRI wedding for yourself!

How to find the perfect match for your NRI daughter

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NRI Daughter

Is it time for your NRI daughter to tie knots with her prince charming? But you are not able to find the one who would be a perfect match since she is an NRI brought up with Indian values? Don’t worry! You are not the only one with this problem. There are many parents of Indian singles in USA or Indian singles in Canada or other countries abroad who are looking for a perfect partner for their NRI kids.

However, you must not worry about it anymore because here we have listed some of the best ways to go about your search for your NRI Indian daughter. You are bound to succeed in your search with the help of these pointers. Let’s check them out!

1. Attend Indian festivals and functions with Indian communities abroad
There is a big Indian community from every region in India that lives abroad. Therefore, it is always a good idea to attend festive events with this community. If you live in the US, you will definitely find many Indian singles in USA, and similarly, if you are in Canada, you are bound to bump into many of the Indian singles in Canada in such events. This is a great place to meet and interact with people of similar thinking and backgrounds. You can also take your daughter to such events, and maybe she will find her prince charming in one of those events. Indian women dating is a common sight now, and it is always a good idea to go on a few dates before making the final decision.

2. Look for a groom on serious relationship sites
Many serious relationship sites have specific NRI matrimony site so you can narrow down your search to NRIs only. Moreover, you can put several filters while doing your search and browse through profiles that fit your description of the ideal son-in-law. The NRI matrimony sites have several eligible bachelors looking for their perfect partner so you can definitely find a prospective groom who would be the right one for your daughter. These websites also verify the credentials of the people who sign up so you can trust what they say. Moreover, once you shortlist a few for your daughter, you can ask your daughter to personally talk to them or meet them to find out the compatibility between them. This way, you can easily choose from one of the Indian singles in USA or Indian singles in Canada, or other singles settled abroad.

To sum up, finding a groom for your daughter is a serious thing! Therefore, you must look for many options before finalizing the one who would be perfect for her. Following these two methods will expose you to many eligible bachelors, and then you can choose the perfect one for you. You will need a lot of patience, but it is sure that you will find the perfect groom for your lovely NRI daughter.

How To Find The Love Of Your Life If You Are An Indian Single In USA

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We all want love. We long to find that ideal person who fulfills our expectations and makes our heart flutter. But as much as we do not like it, sometimes it becomes quite challenging to find Indian singles in Canada. In the end, we are left with the belief that it is not easy to find the perfect Indian singles in the USA. It’s simpler than we think!

Feel Safe: You Are Beautiful And Unique.
First of all, we need to eradicate from our minds the idea that we are not beautiful enough. Every Indian woman dating a man is beautiful because she has a peculiarity: there is no one, at all, equal to her. Also, we all have shortcomings. Do you think a man is going to fix himself on a pretty woman? No, they also look at the personality. Do not deceive yourself and try to be sure of yourself and of the beauty and values that you have. In most cases, the physical attributes do not matter.

Love Embellishes You.
It often happens that an Indian woman dating a man becomes more beautiful in the sight of others. Beyond that, love truly fills us with joy, and that illuminates the face, the fact of feeling loved embellishes us. And that should not happen only when we are with a man, but should be a constant in our life, whether we are in a relationship or not. Valuing ourselves is the key.

You Deserve To Be Happy.
Having the total security that we deserve to be happy is fundamental. Raising our self-esteem is equally essential because that will reflect on our face.

Define What You Want.
If we want to get married to Indian singles in Canada, it does not make sense to be in a relationship with someone who does not want to establish that commitment. Sometimes, it happens that couples get married without knowing each other, and it turns out that one of the two wants to have children and the other does not, bringing serious problems and even separations. Therefore, we should not rush and instead, look within to discover what we want for our lives.

Do Not Concentrate On Pleasing Him.
When we are constantly in search of Indian singles in the USA, something remarkable happens, and it is that men seem to notice our desire as if we were carrying a desperate poster that says: “Love me.” And this generates the opposite effect: we end up doing things to please our man. We are not genuine, and that shows. Therefore, when meeting men, do not concentrate so much on seeing if you like them, but rather, think if he likes you. Over the years, we may despair to find the ideal person, but we must let life flow. Pressures do not work in these cases and can lead us to choose incorrectly.

Perfect Men Also Have Flaws.
The perfect man is not that gallant guy of the movies without flaws, but that which is perfect for you. Find the affinity between you guys, have fun and communicate fluently.

These are some tips for finding the love of your life if you are an Indian single in the USA.

“Adarsh Bahu” Course by Barkatullah University, Bhopal – A Stance!

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Indian Education System feels a need to educate women on how to be a “Adarsh Bahu” and hence Barkatullah University Bhopal is set to launch a certificate course on How to be a “Adarsh Bahu”.

Is it only the “Bahu” who is responsible for whatever happens in families post marriage and hence needs to be taught? Or does the society as a whole plays an important role here and needs an evolved outlook?

Since time immemorial, society and elders and family members have been setting ground rules for women on what to do and what not to do after marriage. Girls are given vast “Gyan” on how to please husband and in-laws, how to ensure that everyone in family is happy and content, even if it means compromising on her happiness & desires and crunching her expectations as a wife, a daughter-in-law, a sister-in-law and above all, her expectations as an individual.

But the sight of elders or family members imparting such “Gyan” to any would-be groom would be quite rare! Because its assumed that all the efforts to settle in a new family have to made by the girl alone and success or failure of the marital relationship is the responsibility of the bride. Whereas everyone tends to easily ignore the important role that needs to be played by the groom. How so ever “adarsh” the “bahu” be, without an understanding and supportive husband she cannot build a happy marriage and a happy family.

Moreover, the role of in-laws cannot be denied in rendering a happy relationship between newly formed couples. Current family needs to be acceptable to a new family member. They need to understand that a newly developed bond between the couple needs to be nurtured with proper time investment and determination by the couple; husband and wife need their personal time to build a stronger bond that could last lifelong. This would somewhere mean that other family members would also have to compromise on their share of time they used to enjoy earlier and this is where their support and understanding is much required. Moreover, family members need to respect the expectations and desires of the couples, their thoughts and beliefs rather than imposing their own and forcing them to follow without questioning.

The idea of imparting value education before marriage seems a great initiative but should involve all those who play an important role in creating happy marriages and happy families. There should be a course for the grooms too, to help them prepare for handling additional responsibilities post marriage and maintain a healthy balance between family and marital relationship. Even to-be in-laws need guidance to enhance their adaptability to a new family member, letting her be a “Adarsh Bahu”.